Protocols for the Weary

by Linda-Marie Barrett

I’m starfished on my bed, a soft eyemask keeping out the light. I’m listening to The Daily Jay on my Calm App, preaching to me about accepting life as it comes. Deep breath in, deep breath out, no judgment, just let it…all…go. By the time Jay finishes, I’ve resettled into a fetal position, the mask slipping off my face. I feel a bit more restored but also ready for a little nap. Like so many, I’m treading water to keep from drowning in the zeitgeist; the unfolding of deeply disturbing events in the news is relentless. I’m also grappling with financial vulnerabilities that sap my spirit on a primitive level. Even with the Affordable Care Act, my insurance premiums are astronomical, yet going without insurance is not an option I can consider. Others in my circles are in the same situation. Our country’s safety nets are failing us, disappearing or wearing thin. The times I allow myself to fully take in these realities can be a lot.

When the world is too much with me, which is now, I turn to my protocols for the weary, the ways I take care of myself when things threaten to reach a personal crisis. I’m prone to autoimmune diseases that flare up under stress. My body clearly keeps the score; sounding a gong across my energetic field. I either restore equanimity or plunge further into poor health. This week I received a diagnosis of yet another autoimmune disease that may take months to recover from. I’d been dealing with a cluster of weird symptoms: an eye I couldn’t open at night, soreness in my jaw, a sore throat, malaise. I contacted my doctor through the patient portal and she urged me to come in. After she diagnosed me, I burst into tears, weeping into the tissues she handed over. It was not the worst thing she could have told me, but it scared me. I told her I was okay, I just had to grok what was happening. In addition to taking the heavy duty prednisone and anti-virals she prescribed, I began to craft my self-care plan. 

Self-care is not selfish, though many might say otherwise. Let them say such things, I harrumph from the comfort of my fleecy pajamas, curled up in a big yellow chair in our living room, the heat pump working overtime to keep the house warm despite the single digits outside. This is not indulgence, though even if it were, I would forgive myself. When I take care of myself, I’m better able to support others on their journeys, too, and to give what’s needed to make the world a better place. Self-care is part of a virtuous circle. 

Protocols for the Weary:

Put away the phone. Stop scrolling. Be in the offline world.

Slow down, focus on the breath, the long inhalation, the long exhalation.

Let your bed become a refuge, the blankets a hug, the light on your nightstand a soft glow.

Soak in warm salt baths. Rub in lotion or oil after, to soothe muscles and moisturize.

Play relaxing music, make art, do crosswords and jigsaw puzzles. Distract yourself.

Prioritize yoga and pilates, or your exercise of choice, on a weekly basis..

Text friends and family, share pictures from your lives, laugh at yourselves.

Plan coffee dates and longer retreats with people you love.

Snuggle under electric blankets and watch mindless television.

Sip coffee thick with cream, light a candle, enjoy the quiet morning.

Use an app with guided meditations, listen to your inner voice, imagine peace.

Journal. Remind yourself of gratitude for your many blessings. 

Schedule massages for healing touch and emotional regulation.

Say yes to walks in the woods, impulsive moments of play, taking in the world around you.

Say no to pressure, to things you don’t really need to do, to unnecessary effort.

Embrace the let them theory, the serenity prayer, and release the urge to respond.

Offer others and yourself the gift of good food, lovingly prepared.

Use an aromatherapy diffuser. Scent the air to uplift or calm your mood.

Buy flowers at the grocery store, and the odd bar of chocolate.

Surround yourself with beauty. Even in just one room. For you.

Ask for help, accept help, extend help. Enter that beautiful circle.